This week The Tangent’s Wikipedia page was SAVAGELY altered by somebody or SOMETHING, although probably somebody… The alteration claimed the Tangent had died. The edit said the Tangent passed quietly in the night while watching rolling news stations waiting for something to happen.

This lie upset many people. Until the situation was resolved a national outpouring of grief not seen since Princess Diana convinced Henri Paul to let her have a quick go of a Mercedes was brewing.

Vernon Kay, himself a recent victim of an incorrect Wikipedia article stating he’d died, called to say, “Ee up. I was gutted, absolutely gutted when I heard The Tangent was dead. I said to Tess, I said to her, Tess - I’m absolutely gutted that The Tangent is dead.” The altered Wikipedia article about Kaye’s death was the suspected work of Les Dennis.

Vernon Kay. Before: a twat. After: a twat with a haircut.

Dennis once hosted Family Fortunes, the show Kay now hosts. It is believed that Les Dennis saw the roaring success of crackpot Noel Edmonds TV comeback and thought he’d be in line for a return to Family Fortunes and stardom if he only he could get rid of Grannie’s wank rag Vernon Kay. Dennis’ CV was submitted via email only 47 minutes after the Wikipedia article went online, experts reckon this is how long it would take for an old person like Les Dennis to open a new window, log into his email account and attach a CV to an email.

Dennis has not yet been implicated in the altered Tangent entry but police refuse to rule out any possibility at this stage (even the ridiculous notion that a liquor fuelled Tangent editor himself edited the entry). Police have asked the Tangent to supply a list of people that the Tangent has possibly offended in the past two years. The Tangent is working on this list and hopes to have it completed sometime before the New Year

The article has been restored so that it is close to the original truthful entry. However, Tangent lawyers have been consulted about the non removal of the statement claming the Tangent to be ‘a lazy, scruffy hobo.’