ESPN BUY DROSS THAT PUT SETANTA OUT OF BUSINESS.
ESPN have bought the rights to 46 awful Premiership fixtures that Sky Sports can't be arsed showing. Sky had previously ditched the fixtures onto Setanta in a cunning and ultimately successful effort to put the Irish company out of business.
Again Sky Sports avoided bidding seriously on the fixtures allowing ESPN to gain the rights to thrilling fixtures including Stoke, Burnley, Bolton, Blackburn, Hull City, Birmingham, Wigan, Sunderland and Wolves. On the plus side, ESPN have probably bought themselves a lot of games featuring former footballer Michael Owen.
Michael Owen in familiar football pose.
The Disney owned American company admit they don't know much about football and have issued a request to change the teams suffixes from the likes of 'City' and 'Wanderers' to more exciting ones like 'Lighting' and 'Conquerors'.
The deal does not include the rights to Setanta's Scottish fixtures. A spokesman for ESPN said, "We might not know much about football but we're not stupid enough to buy that Scotch stuff."
Christ, turns out Scottish football isn't even good enough to be a Mickey Mouse league.
"We interviewed every sober Scot we could find and asked if they felt £3 million was a fair price for Scottish football. We polled for 3 days and got 8 replies. The majoirty of the responses stated they'd rather pay someone £3 million to have their eyes gouged out so they never had to see Scottish football again."
"Before we got involved I thought Scottish football only had two teams playing each other 40 times a season but there's actually four divisions full of shite. It's amazing, really."
ESPN have bought the rights to 46 awful Premiership fixtures that Sky Sports can't be arsed showing. Sky had previously ditched the fixtures onto Setanta in a cunning and ultimately successful effort to put the Irish company out of business.
Again Sky Sports avoided bidding seriously on the fixtures allowing ESPN to gain the rights to thrilling fixtures including Stoke, Burnley, Bolton, Blackburn, Hull City, Birmingham, Wigan, Sunderland and Wolves. On the plus side, ESPN have probably bought themselves a lot of games featuring former footballer Michael Owen.
Michael Owen in familiar football pose.
The Disney owned American company admit they don't know much about football and have issued a request to change the teams suffixes from the likes of 'City' and 'Wanderers' to more exciting ones like 'Lighting' and 'Conquerors'.
The deal does not include the rights to Setanta's Scottish fixtures. A spokesman for ESPN said, "We might not know much about football but we're not stupid enough to buy that Scotch stuff."
Christ, turns out Scottish football isn't even good enough to be a Mickey Mouse league.
"We interviewed every sober Scot we could find and asked if they felt £3 million was a fair price for Scottish football. We polled for 3 days and got 8 replies. The majoirty of the responses stated they'd rather pay someone £3 million to have their eyes gouged out so they never had to see Scottish football again."
"Before we got involved I thought Scottish football only had two teams playing each other 40 times a season but there's actually four divisions full of shite. It's amazing, really."
Contact: news@TheTangentNewspaper.co.uk
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posted by The Ed at
9:34 PM
