BROWN REVEALS HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND PHRASE 'STORM IN TEA CUP'.

Gordon Brown has referred to a plot to oust him as Labour leader and the six hours it took for senior cabinet ministers to sound their support for him as a 'storm in a tea cup', suggesting he either has some very large tea cups with their own extreme weather atmospheres or he doesn't understand this phrase.

"I've had bigger things to deal with this week to be honest, like figuring out how I can be voted Worst Dress Man of 2009 while Cameron appears on a best dressed man list when essentially we are always seen in the same basic outfit.  Should I ditch the tie for less formal events?  I've also had Sarah nipping my head for a 19 year old lover..."

"These are the real issues and I'm the man with the job of doing the job on these issues.  This is no time for a well dressed novice.  Two high profile ministers sending out an email trying to drum up support for a secret leadership battle is nothing that an increased dosage of my favourite painkillers won't solve."

David Cameron responded to the plot by saying, "I can't believe this.  This is becoming so easy.  We are the Tories, we are going to be rubbish and screw things up all kinds of new.  I thought it would have been harder to convince voters to come out and support us, but now I realise Gordon is just a big Labour self-destruct button covered in flesh and a suit that's not cut as well as the one my tailor hand made while I whipped him a gently."

Political expert Marcus Oakley said, "Saying that a secret plot to oust you as leader of the party a few months before a general election, the third plot to challenge leadership in less than 2 years, is a storm in the tea cup is like waking up to find your balls have swollen to space-hopper size and commenting that sitting down 'may be a tad uncomfortable'".

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